For many people, getting sober is a complex process due to outside stressors and influences. One of the biggest influences — and sometimes stressors — for someone wanting to get sober is the fact that they have a partner or spouse that continues to use alcohol. As the spouse wanting to get or stay sober, having a partner that still drinks can lead to temptation, resentment and sometimes relapse. So how do you deal with these stressors while preserving the relationship? Here are some of our top strategies for overcoming these challenges in an established or new relationship. Dating may be the last thing on your mind when you first get sober.
10 Signs of Cocaine Use – Are you Dating a Drug Addict?
The warning signs of drug addiction can be difficult to identify. Being in a close relationship with someone who may be suffering from substance abuse or battling with addiction can be a challenging and confusing ordeal. Addiction is a progressive disease and can be difficult to identify at first. The o nset of drug use can begin with innocent, recreational use and evolve into something more complicated and problematic. Users may begin hiding their problem from romantic partners, making it difficult to determine whether or not a person may be abusing substances.
Dating someone who may have a problem with substance abuse can be a heavy burden to carry.
For many people who have limited experience with alcoholism and addiction, the signs can be subtle and difficult to spot.
Falling for someone might seem fantastic, but when the truth of drug abuse sets in it can become a nightmare. You find yourself wondering, are relationships supposed to suck this bad? Why is this person like this? Will they ever change? This is where you learn how to leave a drug addict. You spend hours on the internet figuring out what addiction and its signs look like. The hiding spots. What their eyes can prove to you.
What you want to say. What they might do. Who they might be seeing. When they go out, you pace around with a knot in your stomach, analyzing every possible situation. Maybe you know that twinge of guilt too well— cleaning up after them, feeling a lie come out of their mouth but trying not to feel defeated by it, constantly questioning your own gut reaction to subtle damaging behaviors.
Like many people, these have been familiar modes of survival for me.
Dating Someone With Depression: What You Need to Know
It has long been known that marriage or other long-term, committed relationships and substance abuse don’t mix. Having a partner who drinks too much or uses drugs is very much like throwing a stone into a still pond: the effects ripple out and influences all that is near. In the case of a partner who uses drugs or drinks too much, the effect is felt by his or her children, relatives, friends, and co-workers.
However, many would argue that, aside from the abuser, the greatest price is often paid by the abuser’s partner.
When you are in addiction recovery and begin to date someone it is important to share your addiction history at some point but when?
Call Now Like the song says, breaking up is hard to do. If you are dating an addict, or married to one who is still caught up in a relapse cycle, it can be hard. It also hurts if they choose their addiction over you. You want to support them through their illness, but you also know their addiction is taking a toll on you. How do you know whether to stay or go? Dating is hard enough as it is. Despite your plans, you may fall in love with someone struggling with substance abuse. Like most people, you want a romantic relationship that is healthy.
Does falling for someone with a drug or alcohol history mean you have landed in a relationship with a bad person? Studies show, however, that addicts with closer family ties have a stronger chance of recovery. An addict in recovery may be one of the most aware people you will meet. On the flip side, there are some inherent risks of being in relationship with recovering addicts:. It is important to set boundaries that keep you and your relationship as healthy as possible, especially if you are struggling with addiction yourself.
Dating an Addict: Should I Stay or Should I Go?
We recommend that newly sober men and women avoid major life changes within their first year of recovery — and this includes getting into romantic relationships. Not only do relationships serve as distractions, but they can prove to be relapse triggers if they end. Many sober men and women choose to date people that are also in recovery.
Dating in itself is already stressful. The problems that typically plague standard relationships, from forgetting an anniversary to cheating, create.
Focus on getting to know each other as people before rushing into a physically intimate relationship. It takes time for the brain and body to adjust to living a sober life. You can be a source of love, encouragement, and support, but the decision to remain in recovery belongs to your partner alone. If your attraction is based on a desire to rescue someone in need, you may be suffering from codependency.
This condition is characterized by an excessive emotional, physical, and psychological reliance on another person to boost your own self-esteem. Codependent relationships are not healthy for either partner. People in recovery often have a number of challenging issues in their past. To be a supportive partner, you need to have a solid understanding of substance abuse and recovery. Visit sites such as DrugAbuse. You can also find a wealth of information resources at your local public library.
Additionally, attending a support group for the friends and family of those in recovery may be beneficial. These groups let you learn more about addiction and recovery while providing a sympathetic ear when you face challenges in your relationship. People in recovery typically have a lot of meetings and appointments to attend.
Addiction Recovery Articles
Like most facets of an addiction, relationships play a cause-and-effect role, and understanding these dynamics is instrumental to controlling the addiction and saving the relationship. The question of how substance abuse can impact families is not a new one. In , the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration reviewed pre-existing literature and found that addiction has different effects on different relationship structures.
Extended family members might be put through stressful experiences of shame and humiliation if their connection to the addict and his or her behavior becomes known. When dealing with a partner, the consequences of a substance abuse problem generally fall into psychological and resultant behavior and economic categories.
No matter how nonjudgmental of a person you may be, finding out that the person you’re dating is in recovery can be a tough truth to navigate.
For example, addicts can backslide and begin using his or her substance of choice once again, known as a relapse. All of that being said, you might meet someone incredible who has many of the traits you are looking for in a partner, but who might also be struggling with addiction or be in the midst of recovery. When someone is dating an addict a nd that partner is in the midst of alcohol or drug addiction, it is easy for the sober partner to get caught up in the whirlwind of the partner who is addicted.
The reason behind this thinking is that substance abuse can really warp how people see themselves and their life. Once in recovery, you are just founding out again who you are while also trying to form healthy relationships with people on a similar journey. It is only through a time of reflection and sobriety that you can once again learn who you are and how you want to move forward in your life to get where you want to go. If you are currently in a relationship with someone who is actively using drugs or alcohol, consider speaking to them about entering into a detox or rehabilitation program.
The addiction specialists at Legacy Healing Center can give you information on how detox works and what different treatment programs are available. Speak to someone today by calling Protecting our community is our top priority. Table of Contents. Legacy Healing Center.
What It’s Like to Date a Drug Addict
Heroin Addiction Treatment. Opioid Addiction Treatment. Cocaine Addiction Treatment Center.
More than 10 million lives covered by insurance. Call us today to get the care you deserve. Getting through the trying time that is drug rehabilitation speaks volumes to your dedication and abilities. Dating can be fun and exciting now that your mind is clear and you have a foot in the right direction. Think about where you are in your sobriety and consider venturing out in the dating world, if only just to date casually and infrequently.
Now it may be nerve-racking to think that you could in some way screw a new relationship up, or, on the other hand, that the emotions of new love could threaten your sobriety. You have every reason to worry in these ways, though before you leave the idea entirely, think of where you are in your sobriety, and what a relationship could do for you in support of said sobriety. There are many things to consider when it comes to letting yourself out to date and the possible pros and cons are rather endless, but there are some essentials to consider.
Just as you can now find and rely on self-pride, self-trust is something that you must earn and hold to in your lifelong sobriety. Trusting yourself not to fall off course and do something that will damage yourself and your own life is extremely important, but adding another person to this mix—their life and their heart—means that you must be able to trust yourself to not slip up in a way that can affect this loved one negatively.
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly Of Dating A Drug Addict
Finding someone who you can build a life with is no easy task, especially if drugs and alcohol get in the way. If you are dating an addict or a recovering addict, it can only add to this already complicated equation. Our drug rehab facilities in Philadelphia are breaking down what to expect when dating someone with an addiction and how to know whether to run or stay. Dating someone with an addiction can be trying, especially if you knew them before their addiction. You may watch them start to spiral out of control and feel trapped.
At Banyan Philadelphia, we understand that this can be difficult, so we have a few tips to help you determine the best course of action.
And if you’re a recovering addict yourself, don’t despair. By following the right precautions, you can successfully navigate the world of dating and.
Dating in itself is already stressful. The problems that typically plague standard relationships, from forgetting an anniversary to cheating, create an almost impenetrable barrier in the relationship. Add in a drug-ridden past or present into the mix, and the relationship is not only stressful, but also very unpredictable. I’ve had three serious relationships in my life, and two of them were with drug addicts.
Dating became a daily juggling act between love and drugs, between happiness and utter devastation. I was constantly in a state of limbo about the success of my partner and the future of our relationship. This is my personal experience dating a drug addict.
Trusting Yourself To Date After Rehab
Dating in addiction recovery can present some extra challenges. This gives you an opportunity to focus on your recovery and become independent before attempting to start a new relationship. When you do start dating again, many people prefer to date people who are also in recovery.
If I wasn’t an addict, I would date someone that had at least three years of sobriety. They would also have a support group and a sponsor they could reach out to.
Why are relationships so challenging for recovering addicts? The main reason is that an intimate relationship has the potential to be all-consuming. This can be particularly dangerous for someone who is in an extremely vulnerable state after making such an intensive life change as choosing sobriety. The possibility of replacing a substance addiction with another type of addiction is extremely high.
Experts say love in recovery can lead to unhealthy, co-dependent relationships, which can all too often lead to a relapse. Addicts have learned to cling to the substances and habits that they relied on during their struggles, before they embarked on the journey of recovery. During this time, they developed many unhealthy coping mechanisms, which can include becoming extremely dependent on those who enabled and supported them throughout this behaviour.
Starting a new relationship while in this state of mind rarely ends well. The lives of addicts are very different from those of sober people. Once they break free from addiction, they will be capable of different types of activities and relationships.